Realizations

Remember those talent shows they had at your middle school, when you realized that no one in your school had any actual talent...

So I was watching the MTV awards last night when I came to several profound realizations of my own. These very realizations are listed below:

1- The music industry is coming dangerously close to
hitting rock bottom, AGAIN, quality wise. All these
fucking generic rock bands sound and look exactly the
same, and it aint good. What is the deal with the
girly, manacured hairstyles and wardrobes. It's
obvious someone dressed these people, which i guess
makes sense considering they're all about 14 years
old. But come on, it seriously looks like they've been
in the salon for 2 straight days chewing on Toblerones
together while they hold hands. I actually hate these
people. I guess I can now see why Kurt Cobain killed
himself.

2- When I find Tenacious D and Christina Aguilera to
be the 2 best performers, BY FAR, there is something
rotten in Denmark. Yes, they are talented people in
their own right, but 15 years ago I wouldn't have told
you that my 2 favorite current bands were Weird Al and
Whitney Houston.

3- If someone tries to acknowledge a LEGEND who is
actually a talented musician like Lou Reed, you put
your fat fucking hands together and make noise. Do not
ignore Lou Fucking Reed and then go apeshit for Paris
Hilton. Everyone in that building should have been
fucking pepper sprayed and kicked in the nuts at that
moment.

4- All I wanted to hear Al Gore say during that speech
was that the real threat to our world right now was
ManBearPig.

5- T.I. is the king- of what? T.I. should be working
in Burger King. Wait scratch that- T.I. should be
getting fired from Burger King right about now.

6- I love Common, Green Day, and the Red Hot Chili
peppers. So you know what they get- a combined 4
nominations and ZERO awards. Good call guys; no way
was the Testify video better than My Humps. I mean,
who enjoys a lyrically clever song with a great beat
that tells a story with a twist ending in the vein of
Usual suspects- nobody. We want My Humps, My Humps, My
Humps, My Humps. BRILLIANT.

7- I'm sure that 50 Cent's collabo with LL will be
crazy, like LL says. I mean, what do you get when you
mix Candy Shop with Phenomenon? I don't know yet, but
I'm thinking its gonna come off smelling like a
steaming pile of shit.

FUCK COMMERCE!!!

-DT